Online Dating

Online Dating: The Advantages and Disadvantages

The Internet has changed the way we date, and interact with people in general. There is less face to face communication, less actual talking, and more texting and messaging online. People are getting to where they don’t even want to talk to other people in person anymore. It is not uncommon for people to never pick up their phone and to let their voice mail fill up, so others are forced to text them, message them through social media, or email them. And, even email is starting to become archaic.

Naturally, this new, electronic, online environment is changing the way we communicate with others we already know. It is also changing how we meet people and get to know them, in both a professional and personal way.

Dating is one of the things online communication through the Internet has changed the most. In the past, a guy would see a girl he thought was pretty, and would ask her out. Sometimes, he got to know her a little first through a class or common friends and start to like her based on her personality before he asked her on a date.

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Sometimes, the date was asked for right off the bat, while sometimes, the guy would get the girl’s phone number first and then call her to ask her on a date. Every once in a while, the woman asked out the guy, but traditionally, it has been the men who have done the asking of dates. The main point is the asking of dates has traditionally been done in person.

Even when people found dates through printed romance ads in newspapers and magazines, there was a period of meeting in a public place and getting to know each other a little before going on a real date. With blind dates, the people going on the date at least had the security and confidence of knowing their date was known to the friend or relative who set them up.

There was always an in-person, personal communication aspect of dating in the past. The people going out with each other had some idea of what the other person was like before going on the date. The new, online world of dating has changed a lot of this.

Now, men and women both can go through online profiles and select those that look good to them. They may communicate online for quite a while, believing they are getting to know each other, before going on an actual date and meeting in person.

Their first date may be the first time they see each other face to face. They also have to trust that what one person is saying on their online dating profile is true. No one they know likely knows the person they are dating.

In many ways, it is like choosing someone from the “wild,” such as a crowd of people, and deciding to try them out as a date and potential romantic partner. Online dating is the Wild West of dating.

There are advantages and disadvantages to this kind of dating. Here are some of them you’ll want to consider before deciding if online dating is the best way to meet people for you personally.

Advantages of Online Dating

One of the biggest advantages online dating is you can find new people to date easy. In the past, it was difficult to meet new people once you left school.

While potential dates were all around you in high school and college, finding someone appropriate to date became more challenging once you were no longer in an academic environment where interaction between the genders was encouraged. Outside of school, the only places you might meet people on your own were at work and out in public where strangers might approach you for a date.

You could use third parties to get dates, such as personal ads or friends and family fixing you up. Online dating puts the ability to meet lots of potential dates back in your hands, and also gives you back control over who you meet, depending on who you decide to message on the dating sites you use.

Meeting this wide variety of people was not possible outside of school even just a few decades ago, so those who didn’t get together with their true love in school often had to wait a long time after graduation to find someone. Even when meeting people at school was common, you probably didn’t know much about them that wasn’t surface level information, observance by you, or rumor before you went on your date.

There was still a lot to learn about the person, which you often did over the course of several dates, or even after you already decided to be in a relationship with that person. This meant there were often some pleasant and unpleasant surprises about their personality once you were already deeply involved with them.

If you didn’t like the person they revealed themselves to be, it was harder to break up with them, because you were already known as a couple by your friends.

With online dating, people fill out detailed profiles about themselves. They include the most intricate details of their personalities, likes, dislikes, hobbies, values, sexual interests, preferred lifestyle, preferred mate and more.

You can actually filter the people whose profiles you see on online dating sites by your own preferences in these areas. Then, the dating site will only show you the people whose profiles match your stated preferences.

With this means of dating, you can automatically filter the people who wouldn’t interest you, and go right to the people who are good matches for you in all the ways that are important to you. This makes finding a lasting, real, and happy partnership much more likely on the first try. You already know a lot about what you’re getting with that person before you contact them and set up a date.

There is a reason that the most reputable online dating sites have a high record of marriages resulting from the matches made on them. This ability to filter by personality preference is a big factor in those relationship successes.

Basically, online dating makes dating a lot easier than it was when it was done the old fashioned way. You can take your time with finding just the right person. You can look at a lot of profiles before deciding on someone who really catches your attention.

Communicating online before making your date gives you a chance to get to know even more about the person before you meet them, so you feel like you’ve already known them for ages when you do meet in person, and you can take your time on setting up that meeting until you’re comfortable doing it.

There is no pressure to give someone your phone number or agree to go out with them because they are standing right there in front of you asking. If you don’t like a person you meet in an online dating environment, you can just ignore them without feeling put on the spot or bad about it.

You don’t have to feel pressured into going on a date set up for you by your family or friends, either. And, there’s the wonderful ability to meet as many (or more) people as you had access to in school.

Meeting people is no longer a chore outside of school with online dating, as it was before online dating became a thing. You have a much better chance of meeting your true love this way if you wait until you are out of school to seriously start looking for someone. Online dating puts the dating advantage back in your hands in a lot of ways.

Disadvantages of Online Dating

While online dating has a lot of advantages over traditional dating, there are also some disadvantages. If you have experienced traditional dating, you may miss the excitement of finding someone this way.

Being around someone you like and wondering if he or she likes you back, doing what you can to get closer to that person, asking your friends what that person thinks of you, and the eventual euphoria when they finally show you some attention, not to mention the thrill when they ask you on a date, are all things that are missing from online dating.

A lot of the fun of finding a romantic partner is taken out of the process.

Getting a significant other becomes more of a clinical, scientific process than a natural and romantic one. If you have never known any other way of dating, you won’t miss it, but if you have done traditional dating, you will probably miss the natural way it happens quite a lot. There is a lot of romance in traditional dating that is missing from online dating, at least in the beginning of the relationship.

There is also the fact that you are meeting strangers who have no connection to you or anyone you know. Even with the careful screening and detailed profiles that go on online dating websites, there is still an element of danger to dating this way. The person who made the profile could have lied about themselves, and/or have bad intentions toward a person who would go out with them.

You don’t hear about it a lot, but every now and then, there is a story of a woman who had something bad happen to her by someone she met through online dating.

That is why it is so important that whether you are a man or a woman, you make sure your first few dates are in public and never allow yourself to be alone with your date until you’ve been on enough dates with them for you to feel they are safe people to be around.

Don’t even let them walk you to your car unless other people are around until you feel comfortable with them. This type of dating is to going out with a stranger who just approached you in a public place for a date….you’ve got to be cautious in the beginning.

Another disadvantage of online dating is that most of the well known sites have people from all over the country, and even world, signing up on them. While you can filter your preferences by location, you might not find anyone who interests you on that site who lives anywhere near you.

You might find yourself searching farther and farther outside of your geographical area, and then find someone who seems perfect for you living several states away, or even across the country or in a different country altogether.

You might become an online couple, but you won’t be seeing each other in person much. Maybe you see each other 1 or 2 times a year. What kind of a relationship is that? And, who knows what they are doing when you’re not online or on the phone chatting with each other?

What to Do About Dating in the Modern Age

The best way of dating in the modern age involves a mix of traditional dating and online dating, once you are an adult and out of school. With teenagers and college students, there is no reason to do online dating, because you have such a ready pool of potential date and relationship candidates all around you.

While in college, you have opportunities to meet people in classroom, study group and on campus events.

When you are out of school, use the means at your disposal to get dates the old-fashioned way, while also looking around on online dating websites and experimenting with them. You will have the best chance of finding the perfect person who lives near you this way.

Check out They have local dating events in your city. You create a member profile and join a meet up group. Most members are located in your city. They also have meet up group for singles, business people, music group, etc. You should join these group. Maybe you’ll meet someone special. It’s fun to go out, meet new people and do fun things together.

Don’t use Craigslist. Anyone can put an ad there, and they usually don’t have good intentions.

Only use online dating websites that are well known and reputable. Remember, marriages have been made on these sites. However, they have also been made the traditional way, too. Use a mix of both in your search for a mate, and you will greatly increase your chances of success in love.

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